Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
