note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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