my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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