My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
