i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize