Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
