New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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