every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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