Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
