why didn't you poke me back
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
