Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize