Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You smell like stripper and shame
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
