I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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