His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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