I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You are a genius and a whore.
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