Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
