I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And then he peed in my hair
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