It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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