And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
