i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
