He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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