I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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