My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
