first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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