is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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