Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
