goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this boner is exhausting
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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