Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
