Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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