Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
People in love make me want to vomit
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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