Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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