I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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