We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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