When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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