the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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