Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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