I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
