no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
