and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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