john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
