i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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