Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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