Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize