I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Randomize
