apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
