I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize