Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm like, not good at living.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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