Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
