I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
