bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
