Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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