what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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