i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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