I have demons in me.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
