would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
