can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize