just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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