Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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