The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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