But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
