those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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